I bought some fridge magnets. So far, I have 10 fridges.A jellyfish walks into a hardware store and buys ten drills.Supermarket: a place where you can spend a half-hour looking for instant coffee.How can you spot people who can’t count to twenty? They’re in front of you in the supermarket express lane.I bought some Haagen-Dazs ice cream, and as the cashier rang it up, I asked: “How do you pronounce that.” She said slowly: “Five dollars and 29 cents.”✧ ✧ ✧left my last girlfriend because she wouldn’t stop counting. I wonder what she’s up to now.Drugs don’t kill people – people who run out of drugs kill people.I tried to join the Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meeting – but all the seats were taken.I wonder what ‘DON’T TOUCH’ is in Braille.I asked the doctor to give me something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite.My pencil isn’t prone to making Freudian Slips, but my penis.What Iran needs now is a more modern, moderate leader – a Mullah Lite.Is it normal ... For one of my testicles to be. Silent begging in her head. She needs something inside of her…Another face between her legs - definitely male but not her man - his 2 day growth scratches her sensitised skin. Spreading her ass wide again. Tongue circling her anus. He’s tongue fucking it within seconds. Fingers sliding into her pussy. Oh fuck…Again he takes her to the edge – she’s almost ready for the withdrawal and hisses her frustration. His hands are on her hips – oh yes, please fuck me! Drives in to his hilt. He is massive and she struggles to take him all, especially with her legs spread so wide. Pumps into her without care. Her pelvis smacks against the bench but she doesn’t mind – this is bliss. Grips her hair, cranes her head back and pulls tight till her eyes sting. Nearly sobbing when he pulls out – she’s going to die if she cant come soon….YESSSSS…He’s lubed her ass in a second. His cock pressing against the tight opening. A moment of panic – he’s massive. But she wants it at the same time. Hands on her.
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